I’m 23 years old and still feel like I don’t fit in anywhere.
It’s an especially prominent feeling everyday I go to school. My friends all seem to have it together, they are excited for internships and court while I’m excited about everything else. The truth is, as it relates to school, I do love the Law but I’m sure those around me don’t see me as being passionate as they are and I feel like they seriously judge me. I want to and plan to be successful at it and I do take it seriously but sometimes I feel so lost in the constant discussions about everything surrounding the Law.
In addition, sometimes I feel like I’m being put on a back burner by those around me because I don’t necessarily fit the mould. I don’t think I’m being taken seriously because my interests are outside the scope of what they traditionally should be (upstanding law student and all).
I struggle a lot with trying not to stand out as much as I think I do.
For my friends I’m tying to not be as bubbly (they call it loud), I’m trying to engage in legal conversations although I’d really rather talk about entertainment related things and I’m trying to be the formal me I need to be to ever be taken seriously in my chosen profession.
I worry that no one ever would. I worry that my preference of having my locks out rather than in a bun will make me people see me as “ras” rather than “Attorney at Law”. I worry that my friends see me as the clown or the one that needs constant guidance and they haven’t fully accepted me as part if the group but rather a plus one.